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Colossal Slacker

January 22, 2011

Yeah, that’s me.  DH takes off on a four week work trip and my blogging ambitions get flushed down the motivation toilet.  I have ideas, but by the time I can sit down to the computer, they have all trickled out of my brain in a rising stream of frustration.  I adore LM but three totally unbroken weeks with her (and one more to come!), coupled with the onset of her first real illness (a double ear infection, woot) and I my nerves are starting to fray.  The chickens, the drifts of paper on the table, the clingy baby are all getting to me, and then it upsets me that these things are upsetting me!

To combat the frustration I try to think positive thoughts: We get fresh eggs from those ridiculous, obnoxious chickens.  All those papers signify my fulfilling activities, as well as bills that we are able to pay and ads for grocery stores where we can afford to buy all the food we need…things that many people are lacking these days.  And I have a beautiful baby girl who is miserable because her ears are probably aching and she has teeth coming in and 102.5 fever can’t feel good, and she has no words to tell me it hurts or how to make it better…so she follows me around, pulling on my pants and shrieking until I pick her up and then she slaps my chest and arms until I put her down, where she is happy until I walk more than five feet away.  Shriek, repeat.  I should be grateful for what I have, and more sympathetic to my hurting baby.

But, I want to ride my bike.  I want my ears to stop ringing from LM shrieking.  I want to be able to walk outside to attend chickens/garden/mail for 45 seconds without LM getting as close as she can to the door I walked out of and, you guessed it, shrieking.  I want DH to come home; he gives me balance and I’m getting so stressed without him.  I feel like I am busy all day but then I look around, exhausted at the end of the day, and wonder exactly what happened that day.  SLACKER!  Aarrrrrrgh.

OK, I am done, I just really needed to get that off my chest.  I don’t want to become a chronic whiner like my father (by his own admission).

SO here is some good news: at her (not-so-)well baby checkup, LM weighed 20 lb 14 oz (75% percentile), is 29 3/4″ tall (it was actually like 29 7/8″ and I would have rounded up because babies don’t straighten their legs well-but still 97+% percentile!) and her head is 17 3/4″ around (85% percentile).  Hemoglobin count is good (12.2) and her lungs were clear despite the double ear infection and fever.  Poor baby!!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 22, 2011 1:17 pm

    I can sympathize!! While she is not sick, Cecilia has been having some insanely rough times lately. I’m thinking there must be a 9 month developmental leap that really affects them. We’ve had what basically amounts to the return of her infant “witching hour,” where she is pretty much a wreck from about 3 pm (or whenever she wakes up from nap) ’til about 7 pm. When she’s on the floor she’s shrieking and crying and bellowing, when I hold her she’s biting, kicking and squirming. Fun times. Sigh.

  2. January 25, 2011 1:20 am

    Audrey’s mornings were like that for a very long time (starting at 8 or 9 months). That was when we started going for a long (read 3+ miles) walk each morning followed by as much time at the park as she would take. Even before she could walk she could crawl on the toddler playground and being outside put us both in a better mood. If the afternoon winds up being bad sometimes we’ll go back out again, though the bigger kids tend to be playing at the park in the afternoon so it doesn’t work as well.

    I hope L. is feeling better and you get some peace, quiet and productive time soon. Audrey has the stomach flu right now so I really feel for you.

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