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Playing Blog Piggyback (or, What SHE Said…)

December 9, 2010

For this post to make any sense, you’ll have to read this blog post first, because I admire this woman’s candor.  I’ve written before (I think…at least I have in my head) about how we try to put our best Mommy-face forward and act like perfect parents, and I am lucky that my baby is on the quite-well-behaved end of the spectrum, but she still has her moments and I have mine.  So I will confess my shortcomings as a mother:

– I sleep better alone (so does LM)

– I cloth diaper for financial AND environmental AND baby’s comfort.

– I like my stroller better than babywearing for walks to the park and jogging.  LM seems to like them equally, to be honest.

– I spend too much time online, also, though I am trying to consciously limit it

– I’ve yelled at my baby a few times.  But she is always yelling at the same time so she doesn’t even hear me.

– LM will learn swear words. I’m trying to cut back, but DH still uses “c’mon, bitch!” when addressing stuck/tangled/broken things.  LM will repeat it, I’m sure.

– DIFFERENCE: I still don’t understand epidurals.  Yes, they reduce the pain but I am far more terrified of a giant needle being inserted in my spinal column, then I am of contractions.

– Anybody who claims their birth was “painless” is lying.  They made have a high tolerance, or excellent self control, but there is no way that pushing a baby out doesn’t hurt.

– I must get out of my house at least once per day, if even only to go to the park.  LM agrees.

– “Snipping” is very likely in DH’s future, after baby #2

– My drug of choice was Motrin.  DH had to go buy another bottle about 4 days PP.

– LM is also a thumb sucker, though only when tired or very hungry. I’ll worry about this later.

– DIFFERENCE: I intend to do everything possible to avoid bribing with sweets and setting bad eating habits.  Between my sweet tooth and DH’s family’s tendency towards weight gain, this is the battle I will choose to fight.  If LM wants to dress goth, take accordian lessons or try out big game hunting, I’m open to negotiation.  I will NOT give her candy to be a good girl.

– Does EC count as potty training too early?  We aren’t as good at it as I’d hoped we’d be by almost 8 months, but I only miss about one poop a week and that makes it worth it to me.

-ADDITION: I’ve started putting LM in “the cage” (aka the playpen) more frequently, but it is a safety measure…we have hard tile floors and she is desperate to pull herself to standing.  So I drag the playpen wherever I am and let her stand in there, hanging onto the edge.  When she falls, no broken skull.

The key seems to be that such ‘shortcomings’ represent the exceptions to my parenting style, rather than it’s definition. I think I won’t screw this kid up too bad.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 11, 2010 7:20 pm

    I posted on my blog because my comment was WAY too long and started getting really off topic. The short version is that we need to remember that AP is designed to give us a starting place to find our own parenting strategy instead of just following BabyWise or something like it because that’s what our friends do. Cosleeping and babywearing are just tools to help us do that. AP reminds us that the idea that our kids are inherently sinful and it’s our job to beat or scold that out of them is wrong. However, if we go so far as to helicopter over them every second, never letting them fall then they cannot make the mistakes they need to learn to be healthy, happy, productive adults.

  2. December 13, 2010 3:48 am

    I pretty much agree with you, but I was more interested in confessing those things I occasionally do which don’t belong in any good parenting strategy, like snapping at your wailing 7 month old (that doesn’t make EITHER of us feel any better) or teaching your child creative swear words. And LM will have her failures/learning experiences, because I’ll be too busy messing around on the internet to helicopter over her 😀

    • December 13, 2010 6:48 am

      As we are all human snapping happens and as my dad pointed out “she’ll only slam her hand in the toilet seat once”. While, obviously, we should all try to be the best parents we can be, it is important for our kids to see that we aren’t always perfect and for us to admit to them when we are wrong while still maintaining our position as their parent. The sad thing is that as a society we put pressure on parents to be “perfect” all the time and so the small failures that we all make get swept under the rug and then sit there and make us feel guilty. I really appreciate you sharing this list and everyone else who shares their lists of imperfections because it helps push back against the idea that everyone but us is perfect which can lead to bigger problems still. I wish there was more focus in things like parenting books/fourms/websites/etc. on how to handle when you mess up and less on what specific things you should do and not do.

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